On Writing ...

I had forgotten the glorious agony of writing an article for a particular audience ... such is the luxury of writing whatever I want on my blog.

I have been carrying this idea that I could only write this particular article when I was ready ... when I was sure that all I would write would be perfection itself. 

Weeks later, I was still wringing my hands about it because the deadline had been far into the future.  Then the future arrived and what would I write?  How would I incorporate my best images into this text? 

I had raised the bar fairly high in my mind ...

Last night, as I was going to sleep, I thought of the series of fountain images I had added to my previous post and I knew that I had it.  A beginning point, an inspiration, a concrete image of the feeling I wanted to capture.

And so it was, after our Sunday Belgian breakfast of pastries and coffee, that I sat down to write.  And how I wrote ... and wrote, and wrote some more.  Finally, slightly lost, I handed it over and asked the more level-headed Belgian bloke if he might read it through and see where I was. 

Whimper.

He handed it back and told me ...   It seemed, to him, that I might have attempted to squeeze the outline of my entire book into 5 pages of text.  It was a little incoherent and he couldn't find a clear line through it.  Of course, I had wanted my best stuff in the article ... all of it!

Perhaps a prayer was needed.  Something like, Oh enthuisiam, oh passion ... be still so I can write more coherently.

Anyway, that explained my lost feeling and allowed me to pull back out of the work.

And so I reread and found the story I wanted to tell.   I had to remove some favourite photographs from the article.   I had to disappear some favourite tales too.  Paragraphs were slashed as I read.

I need to leave it a few hours now.  Weeks would be better.  I have always preferred to spend time away from a first draft, sneaking up on it at some later date and hoping to read it as a stranger.  It's more effective than you can imagine.

When I write here on the blog I write fast and, for some reason that must be entirely frustrating to those with blog readers, I edit best after I've published.   It's a luxury that I don't have when I write for others.  Even when I edit for others, the final draft is with them.  The post-publish quirk is one that has probably lost me more than a few subscribers.  I must work on that.

The thing about writing so intensely, and I had forgotten this peculiar pain, is that when I write it all out like that there is this horrible emptiness when I stop.  As if all of my intensity and energy has been poured directly into the writing, like an IV that pumps my blood to a new location ... outside of me.

I came here in an attempt to step back from the intensity of the last few hours.  Actually, I did have rather a lot of fun creating storyboards to focus me down on the writing.  Here's one I can't use ...

My borrowed 'desk' in Genova.  The one by the open window that looks out over the carruggio, and a selection of the flowers that I always buy as that first thing I must do in the city.

Conformity ...

If you eliminate that private realm, you breed conformity. When all your behavior is public, then you’re going to do the things that the society insists you do and nothing else and you lose so much of who you are as a human being.
Glenn Greenwald, an interview with an interesting man.

I put this quote up on my facebook page today and it sparked some interesting conversation.

Women called by to comment, women I respect, and in the end we decided that the journey is the destination ...

It came up because we're all out there, either self-employed artists or living in countries not our own and the temptation, on the bad days, is to simply put down our passions, our impulses, our work, our funny little dreams perhaps ... to put them all down and turn back into that world where a weekly pay cheque is guaranteed and our souls aren't so tied up in our work.

But I suspect we gave one another courage and voila, I'm back at work here again ... in Belgium on a Saturday night but remembering that beautiful fountain in Italy.

Eleanor Catton talks with Kim Hill

I must share ... my favourite New Zealand radio personality, Kim Hill from NZ National Radio, interviewed the Man Booker Prize winner, Eleanor Catton.

I knew Kim would have done this thing ... a 41 minute interview, that really explores Eleanor's life and work.  Thank goodness for Radio New Zealand's archives.  So many treasures found there - Sam Hunt is another special NZ love of mine.

Radio New Zealand wrote: Catton, 28, is only the second New Zealander, and the youngest author ever, to

win the presitigious literary award. She is also the youngest short-listed writer in the competition's 45-year history.

The prize, announced at a ceremony in London, carries a cheque for £50,000. The Luminaries is a murder mystery set on the West Coast during the 1860s gold rush that relies on an astrological narrative. It follows in the footsteps of Mr Pip by Lloyd Jones, which was shortlisted in 2007, and The Bone People by Keri Hulme, which won in 1985.

Here's a collection of Radio New Zealand's interviews with Eleanor Catton from recent years.

Artists, Julia Cameron

As artists, we live in a separate culture, embedded in the world of mass media but separate from it. For us, the paycheck is not what says 'Job well done. ' The power to buy is not what constitutes our power. Our worth is not quantified in fiscal terms.

As artists, we are engaged in the process of self actualization, and it is our success or failure at producing a body of work that determines our stature. ...living side by side with a culture that tells us our worth is our net worth, we must hold to a different standard, knowing in our bones that as we embrace life, life embraces us.

Julia Cameron.


Making The Days Quiet ...

Piano piano, in Italian.  Langzaam in Nederlands.  Yavaş yavaş in Turkish - I know these words in every language I've played with.  

Slowly slowly ... and so I am moving like that, playing with photographs, reading a superb book by a New Zealand author and spending time with my cousin, Julie, as she wanders the world, transitioning from her old job in the Cayman Islands to a new job in New Zealand.

It's like that ...

 

3 Things To Share ...

It's a hot muggy night here in Belgium.  I believe all risk of snow is finally gone but I seem to have some lingering issues with the winter that was ...

Oh, you noticed.

Tonight was the night where I wrote a long reply to Laura and afterwards, inspired by my written 'conversation' with her, I wandered into this beautiful performance by my favourite Belgian jazz musician, Toots Thielemans, and Stevie Wonder.

They were playing as I read through Justine Musk's latest post, on finding your passion.

She wrote:  We forget – if we were ever even fully aware — that passion is rooted in suffering. As Todd Henry points out in his excellent book DIE EMPTY: Unleash Your Best Work Every Day, the word ‘passion’ is rooted in the Latin word pati which means “to suffer or endure”. Our culture’s distorted understanding of the concept has created what Henry calls “the passion fallacy” as well as “a false notion of what it means to engage in gratifying work.”

So perhaps — when we try to find the great work of our soul and build out an epic life for ourselves ...

She suggests that we should ask... “What work am I willing to suffer for today?”

I'm aware, that when I wander in Genova, it reads as if it is all beauty and joy but it's one of the more difficult things I do to myself.  I fly high on the beauty I find there, on the people I meet ... on the experiences I have but I empty myself in the high and then ... sometimes, I crash.

Reading Justine's words I  thought, Well yes, Genova is a passion.  My passion for that city isn't without suffering.  Sometimes I feel like I fly so close to the sun, as I explore the city's history, colours, culture ... sometimes I go back to the apartment and attempt to recover from something that feels not unlike Stendhal Syndrome.

Realisation over, I read on, catching up on my incoming and voila, there was this ... and it made me think that I must blog tonight's finds.  Titled 40 Inspiring Workplaces from the Famously Creative ... see what you think.

I thought it exquisite.

Below, I'm posted a fragment from an ancient painting I loved back in Genova ...

It's all about details too ...

One of the things that really struck me about Diana and Micha's B&B were the details ... exquisite details.

I felt concentrated, like a kid playing in mud, using flowers and twigs for decoration.  I had light and colour.  I was that lost during those moments when I played with my camera ... lost in the light, and the details.

This is an odd photograph and yet  I think I like it.  The light struck me but perhaps I saw the mosaic first.  I don't remember but it's like this.  You can spend hours in each room, outside, and in doorways, just noticing the details, one by one.

Before Photography ...

Before I committed to photography, I was pursuing a writing career.

I attended writing workshops with New Zealand writers and have this novel I've been carrying since the early 90's.  As I develop, move countries, learn new things, so too does my main character.  By chance.

Currently she's a war photographer who was in Iraq but who somehow ... happens to have relocated to Genova, Italy.  Before that, she was a woman in retreat, living in the mountains of New Zealand, alone with her dog, once again retired from a previously intense life.

There's a book of interviews with New Zealand climbers and mountaineers, almost published, two publishing meetings and an apology but 'they didn't think there was a big reading public for it', despite them liking it a lot.  The Everest tragedy happened later and climbing literature became more mainstream however, by then, I had enrolled at university: age 34.

I was heading for Bill Manhire's writing course in Wellington.  I ended up in Istanbul.

It makes me laugh to write that.  One never knows where life might take them if they allow it to take them ...

Anyway, back in my days of writing I used to drive my first husband crazy.  No, that's not why he divorced me.  I used to edit and correct as I wrote.  I would reach 27,000 words and edit it down to 3,000 words.  I was brutal and a perfectionist too. 

But it was my editing that made him crazy.  As I got closer to the final edit ... on a first chapter (hence I never finished the book), my editing would become minute.  I would give him the manuscript to see what he thought of my edit.  He would say, 'there's no change!'.  Exasperated, I would explain that I had moved two 'the's' and deleted an 'and'.  How could he not see the difference that made.

Children, never edit an unfinished manuscript.  Write it.  Fix it afterwards.  Or you will never finish.

The reason I write all of this is because ... there was another photograph of B&B Baur, like the previous one  but different.  I think the edit isn't so small but perhaps it is tedious to those reading this blog.

This is me and I need to 'see' both of them here, so that I can happen upon them unexpectedly later, and really 'see' them as a stranger.

Portrait Photography

Above all, life for a photographer cannot be a matter of indifference.

Robert Frank.

I love portrait photography. 

I enjoy people intensely and I think that informs the work that I do.  

My intention is always to show the person just how beautiful they really are ... without Photoshop.  No intervention required.  Really, show me something of your true self, something of your soul ... trust me, and I'll show you you. 

Not that those words are ever stated.  And as a photographer you need permeable boundaries on your own self.  It's good if you're gentle.  Be willing to show some of your soul too. 

Portrait photography, at it's best, is an exchange.  And it's about trust. 

I met a remarkable woman yesterday and I can't wait to write of her work here.  More to follow, just as soon as her website is up. 

Who Does She Think She Is - a documentary

I found a link to this over at the Creativity and Women site and followed it to this website called 'Who Does She Think She Is?' ... a documentary was made.

That question, it has had so much power.  It can be said with so much venom/distaste/disgust/disapproval ...keeping women, very powerfully, in their place.

Have a look, I think it's marvellous.

Creative People ...

Creative people tend to be both extroverted and introverted. We're usually one or the other, either preferring to be in the thick of crowds or sitting on the sidelines and observing the passing show. In fact, in psychological research, extroversion and introversion are considered the most stable personality traits that differentiate people from each other and that can be reliability measured. Creative individuals, on the other hand, seem to exhibit both traits simultaneously.

Scott Barry Kaufman

I enjoyed this.  Loved the idea that there are 'creativity reasearchers'.  And that I might actually have all these contradictions going on.

In a world that prizes labels, I just couldn't work out how to frame myself.  I might just stop with that framing nonsense now , and get on with the 'being' stuff.