I Believe ...

I will have to make myself step outside today. Perhaps I'll walk down to the lake, putting aside my strong desire to process all of the wedding photographs before leaving on Wednesday. 

I have no problems with choosing to work through while in Norway.  I already know that, rather than explore the cultural institutions of each new country I visit, I prefer the experience of life lived on the inside ... lived with the people who invited me there.

I'll curl up on a couch, I'm happy to cook, clean or arrange flowers but I love ... absolutely love, being there, close to the heart of each story.

It turns out I'm not really a museums and art gallery kind of woman.

I loved Sagrada Familia but was so sad to know no one in Barcelona.  It was the first time that ever happened during these years when I wander the world a little.

I flew in to photograph a wedding in Madrid ... saw nothing of the city but lived an incredibly intense few days with the friends and family who had flown in from all over to celebrate with Kathleen and Manuel.  Opera singers and scientists, all kinds of larger than life, wonderful people.  I cried as I photographed the ceremony.

But I cried when I photographed that wedding in England.  Tears poured quietly down my face as I captured the pride and the love on Clare's Dad's face, as he walked his beautiful daughter down the aisle ... his goal, after a massive stroke turned life upside down, back home in Australia.

I do cry sometimes but my camera, my work ... they take me so close to the heart of everything.  Even this wedding, when the love is so strong, and so powerfully present ...  photographing the groom's speech, the bride's response, the son's speech too.  There were quiet tears, that I'm sure nobody saw as they worked with their own tears.

Photography, and the intensity of it, takes me beyond the every day.  I remember that time I spent in a local neighbourhood for the few days I was in Cairo, working with my client, as she sought out pieces for her Berlin exhibition.  It was only as my plane soared into the sky that I saw the pyramids and remembered ... 'oh, the pyramids'.

And even better, so many friendships from those journeys continue to this day.

And that's how I prefer it.  I love to step inside that bubble of family and friends, of locals.  It's the greatest privilege, the richest experience ...  and then to be allowed to attempt to capture the intimacy between people who really know one another, or who are living their everyday lives. There is nothing better.

This time, to stand here, on the edge of the love that Ren and Egil have for one another, to witness them making that public commitment, and to attempt to capture the love that flows out from them and over their family and friends ... who all give it back to them.  That has been almost overwhelming.

It has felt something like warming myself on a fire after time spent out in the cold.

And to be caught up in the hum and bustle of their home ... full of friends and strangers living together ... for me, that is always the best of travel.

As for my goal ... if I really think about it, it has always been about making an attempt to capture the reality of the emotion and the intimacy between family and friends when they come together to celebrate.

But it leaps over into public events too.  Strangers viewing art, unaware of my camera.  There is often a rawness when someone is unaware of the camera.  They are truly themselves, and perhaps that is the best a person can hope for.

I guess it's becoming clear that I have this idea that there is so much beauty to be found in capturing what is real.  I laugh when I tell people ... oh, I just want to capture something of your soul when I photograph you. 

People, when they show a little of their soul, are beautiful.  I strongly believe that Photoshop is no more than a tool, to be used in much the same way the darkroom was used.  It's not for improving someone .. not for ironing out wrinkles, softening their features, making them slimmer ... it's for cropping, when you didn't quite get close enough.  For adding light when there wasn't enough.  For straightening ... or that's my idea of it.

I believe ... mmm, I believe that these few days in Norway have been some of the best days.

As always

That Wedding in Norway ...

My beautiful friend was married yesterday, here in Norway. 

Her wedding was a wedding that reminded me of just how huge love can be.  Love was present in every single speech made, every performance given, every dance. 

There was the groom's speech ... the one that made me cry, despite the fact I didn't understand one word of Norwegian.  He undid so many of us, including his wife.

And the bride's speech, that overflowed with a beautiful humility and a massive love that, again, filled my eyes with tears.

Then the bridesmaid and the bride, who spoke so beautifully of their exquisite friendship ... and the son to his mother, and her new husband, another speech that almost made my poor little heart crack open.

And on it went.

But it wasn't just about the obvious.  My table for the evening was full of the kindest, funniest people.  I was so grateful to them for opening their circle to include me, and even more grateful for the laughter ... and the impromptu lessons in Norwegian.

As I sit here this morning, in this sun-filled house that quietly hums with family conversation and smells of good coffee, contemplating the 300+ photographs I'm about to process ... I'm happy.  Quietly peacefully happy.

It's been another truly grand adventure.

I'm here until Wednesday...

From theWomen I Know and Admire Series - Diny Naus

This beautiful series of images popped up on my Facebook wall this morning and I wrote to the photographer, asking if I might share them.  To put them together in this small montage, some cropping was involved.  Apologies to Diny but the story is more about her than about them.  I want it to be about her way of seeing and being, out there in the world ...

Diny and I met when she attended a photography workshop of mine.  She flew in from Hong Kong.  I arrived from Belgium.  Two New Zealanders, together in Genova.  We wandered and became friends.  It turned out there was so very much to admire about her.

Seeing her series from Beijing this morning made me realise, again, just how lucky I am to have women like her come into my life.  The photographs reminded me of the extraordinary privilege in meeting curious courageous wandering women like her.  There have been so many now.  With their permission, I would like to start sharing their stories, and photographs. 

But Diny ... Introducing her series, she wrote, 'Yesterday snapped this guy who'd managed to find his little piece of peace and quiet in this city of 20 million. I showed him the photo and he insisted I get in the hammock so he could shoot me. I love these interactions. Beijing people are very friendly!

And I thought yes, the people are friendly but you have that sparkle, that curiousity, that courage too!  And her eye ... in a city of 20 million she found this oasis of peace :-)

My client base seems to be made up of women living in countries not their own - but not always, I remember that small group of beautiful Genovese women I once spent the day working with in their city.

Women who are over 40 - but sometimes they're not.  They all have this delightful spark though.  Wise women, old souls who share deeply in the atmosphere that forms when women work together.

Women who are single, or have no dependent children, or women whose children are grown - but then again, sometimes none of this is true either.

My clients are women who are quite fearless and full of curiousity.   They are usually intelligent, wise, and laughter is usually a feature of our time spent together.  As is confusion, frustration and delight.

But sometimes it's all about feeling the fear and doing it anyway ... because they don't want to be fearful anymore.  Fearful of traveling alone, fearful of photographing strangers, of asking permission to photograph those strangers, and most of all, fearful of the techno-speak that has confused so many of us when kind men explain things very very technically.

I have to confess that t took me years to break through and learn the simple equation that is how your camera works.  That's what I share during these workshops, the simple equation via a series of exercises.

And so you can see, the workshops always end up being about more than photography.  With Diny, and so many others, I also get to experience the benefits of their wisdom, knowledge and courage. I meet new heroes and role models. 

I came away from my time with her, admiring so much about her and being able to keep up with her stories of life out here in the world ... it's simply inspirational. 

I have this idea that we need more women like her to write of their lives, share the magic while being honest about the struggles too.  Diny does that for me ... and sometimes, on a sunny Monday she gives me permission to share something of the beauty she found in a Chinese city of 20 million.

Grazie mille, Diny.  For both the use of your photographs, and for your friendship.

It's been a while ...

So much is happening my world that I haven't been able to find the words to write of it all ...

Genova was the most incredible experience.  One that left me even more in love with that city and its people.  It also left me needing my own mortar and pestle because who wants to buy jars of pesto when you can make it yourself.  The trip left me exhausted, as I traveled most of the Friday and Sunday, with my feet only in Genova for 36 hours, perhaps.

My daughter and Miss 11 have moved to England and so I've been working with them on the move, and have Miss 11 here with me ... home-schooling and enjoying having her back in my life.  I had missed her so terribly much.

I'm enjoying my new life in Surrey.  Spring has arrived.  Today, as I write this, it's 23 celsius and we're like cats in a field of catnip, just rapt about the fact that winter is over.

A few weeks ago, I was invited to join a group of women who now make me feel welcome, who make me laugh too, every Wednesday evening. They're a wise, wonderful, wild group.  We drink wine and talk, and I feel so very fortunate to know them.

Cathy, hostess for those Wednesday evening gatherings,  loaned me a beautiful pair of Liz Claibourne black heels, to go with my first-ever little black dress when I was in Italy.  She was that fairy godmother who said, 'but you must go to the ball ... in heels!! 

Wednesday night she handed them back to me, saying she was stream-lining and no longer needed them. 

I suspect Cathy is like that. One of those beautiful souls with a huge heart.  I know others like her around the world, just a handful, and feel incredibly blessed to have met her here in this Surrey world.

I have two adorable small children in my everyday life too.  They make me smile, so often ... and the chocolate brown labrador.  He's still making me laugh with his lovable goofiness. 

Then there is Marcelle, owner of Merci Marcie, the cafe here in Oxshott.  Miss 11 and I enjoy calling in there to catch up with her news, enjoying the tea, coffee and cake.  Seeing Franca, the lovely Italian and Becky, another wonderful woman I'm getting to know.

I haven't found a pub yet.  In some ways, I'm quite isolated socially but summer is coming and that walk through the woods won't be so bad if the sun stays up longer.

London is becoming familiar ... kind of.  I keep staying in, or exploring, new places.  Last weekend was spent with Clare.  I spent a month living with her back in Istanbul, that Australian I still adore so many years later.  She has a second baby, just new, and it was so good to go catch up with her. 

And Miss 11 got to stay with her mum on the Saturday night, although the city trek was 'interesting'.  I had no clue about where I was, nor did I realise it would take an hour to bus to the meeting point, somewhere on the other side of London ... but central.  I hadn't researched it, as life had been mad-busy and so ... completely reliant on Clare's sms's, I crossed London, and returned, all the time feeling strangely disoriented, aware I knew nothing about where I was.

Feel the fear and do it anyway seems to be the thing these days.  From accepting an invitation to visit a womens business networking group, to crossing London via smsed instructions ... mmmhmmm, wings do grow once you step off the edge.

And the weight continues to drop.  I have lost 15kgs now (about 30 pounds I believe).  I'm the strongest I've been in years, and enjoy the fact that I can walk miles, carrying-much ... easily.

I am dressing better, as happens when you shop in secondhand shops, otherwise known as charity shops, here in Surrey.  I love that I can source exquisite secondhand clothes, especially as the world becomes aware of the human cost of cheap and new.  For the first time in many years, I have two dresses.  I've tried on others but I am quite particular.  And secondhand shopping is all about luck really, which makes it all the more fun.

The community Chatter Bus, and its drivers, continue to delight me.  The English are so kind.  I keep saying that but it's been true.  And I love that when I'm a little displaced in London's Underground, I can just ask, and some smiley helpful staff member will help. 

All said, if I'm honest, it's been up and down in this new world, and sometimes I wake at 5.30am, quite terrified about how to go forward however .... the feeling passes, and I go forward:-) 

More amusing, is the fact that 5.30am has somehow become my new wake up time.  The sun comes in through my window and voila, I'm awake.  I use that time to plot and plan and drink espresso.  I have a new favourite breakfast in this world.  2 espresso, 2 bagel thins, covered in butter and wild blueberry jam. 

Breakfast has always been my holy moment ... I was relieved to find I could recreate that holiness out here in this new world.

Photos and stories will follow.  I just wanted to stop and catch family and friends up on 'lately'.  I think this kind of does that.

London tomorrow ... meeting Jessie somewhere in the city.  But I'll map that out tonight.  There's something kind of lovely about being out here in the country, surrounded by wood but still just 35 minutes from London Waterloo.

Just so you know ... I'm doing okay. 

The 6th Pesto World Championship ...

Here I am, almost overwhelmed by the joy I feel on returning to Genova.

The photograph possibly captures some of that ... mmmhmm, and in my hands ... that's the bowl of pesto I learned how to make last night.

The journey here was a story in itself but once I arrived in Genova, life became so very busy and full of good people.

I caught up with Davide, Alessandra, Federico and Isabella, at Villa Migone ... that exquisite 15th century house here in the city.  I had my pesto lesson out on the balcony, 17 celsius, generous people and beautiful food.

We ate at the grand dining table, and the pesto ... truly superb.  'John Lennon' played 'Let it be' and it went home with that in my head.

There is so many more stories but I need to return and compete soon.  I have the recipe firmly fixed in my mind, I hope.  I have learned about the soul of garlic, I have learned quantities, and how to beat and grind those ingredients into the sublime sauce known as Genovese Pesto.

I have met old friends, made new friends and, as always, Genova city has made me feel like I have come home ... to the home of a favourite family member, a best friend.  It's a city that, for me, seems like a powerful entity in its own right.  A city I'm so glad I am coming to know.

And the scent of Paola's apartment wrapped itself around me when I arrived, the streets smelt of favourite things, like good coffee and pizza, focaccia and all kinds of other scents that I've missed. 

And last night I fell into bed, hands covered in the perfume that is basil and garlic. 

It was a good day.  Wish me well.  I'm competing, with 100 others from around the world ... in one hour.